1. |
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A thin line
To walk right
Back in time
I wish I knew where I stood
I sank so deep in all the shit
If I had tried to take a breath I would’ve swallowed it
I take it back I take it back
But I meant everything
And I believed you for so long
You made a fool of me
Welcome to the rest of your life
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2. |
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just hit me up on your way back home
is what i should've said
instead i left you all alone with your hurricane head
i thought i saw your face today
i thought you were there
and for a moment my guilt and grief disappeared
don't float away
i miss you
i hope the reaper's angry
because you wouldn't let him take me
how could you not pull through when i always do
and i still picture you in the basement
in the backyard on that bench swing
on the porch where you watched us smoke cigarettes
and the day that we killed your dreams
make some room
give him space
help him see another day
it's getting harder
to picture you there
i hope you're somewhere warm
where you can bloom
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3. |
Meanwhile
03:34
|
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I’m not conscious of the trouble I cause
There’s a reason I left when I did
I don’t need to make new friends
I don’t need to keep old friends
I don’t need anything
The summer I moved back home
I slept for weeks
last year took too much out of me
And you, you knew it all too well
So why wouldn’t you help me
So do your hands still shake?
And are you still afraid
That you made an unforgivable mistake?
There’s marks on the walls that were painted over
I know they’re still there
It just looks a little less lived in than it did
I can’t change anything that’s
Not my doing
Why should I even care
I know I’d still be haunted if we’d have stayed there
Don’t tell me what I want to hear
A dollar says I’d prove it wrong anyway
You sure can’t lie on your feet
Like me
And I guess now I’m free
But like a dog who broke his leash heading straight for the street
Still greeting people only I can see
Make me out to be
A martyr and what you need
Either way I’m ending up bloody
And alone
Don’t let me go alone
Who do you think you are to decide
If these shadows we walk with are really alive
And if they are, are they a part of us?
The pieces we try and hide
Came back from the dead just to live a lie
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4. |
31st
02:58
|
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Splitting on my friends again
Till I’m left all alone
I can’t complain if I did this to myself
And if you were to ever need us
I bet we’d just be down the stairs
We stayed down there
But I’ve got so far away
From the path I should’ve stayed on
Betrayed my own beliefs
And now I’m still slipping
I’m slipping
A day from mid July embodies everything I’d hoped for
Then autumn came swallowing it all
Let me come back
Bring it all back
Everything you love
Is easy when you’re young
I’m scared I missed my chance at normalcy
Can all this really last?
And if I want to be a part of anything I’ve gotta stop with all my constant criticisms
Please let me feel whole again
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5. |
Sofa King
03:09
|
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I know how lucky I am
It’s really not that bad
I’ll take a clean heart over what’s in my head
I never felt at home I never felt rested
A cutthroat mind disease
My conscious shouting “please get over yourself”
Fell asleep sitting up on the couch
I’d give up anything for the atrophied legs to hold me up again
Please pick me up again
It’s such a mind fuck
Why you look upset
When you see your friends
Out with the words you’re saving
That god damn look you gave me
Light a match with the gas stove on for days
Here’s the violence you’re craving
Felt the breeze from the open window above the nightstand it feels like these are the first breaths I’ve taken to awaken something to pull me out of this hibernation
We looked out for a miracle, but I’d settle for anything greater than a tragedy
When your breath stops I hope you can’t remember how you got there
Oh, no one knows
No one knows who I am
I’m just body doing nothing
I’m a suitcase for everyone else’s shit
Well I’ve got shit too ya know I’ve got it bad too
I can’t crawl back to my old life
Were they really better times?
I won’t go back to my old life
They weren’t even better times
The sun is bright in the sky
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6. |
Ladybug Legs
03:00
|
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Somewhere left outside this place was never meant for me
Though my leaving is a burden, a perfect tragedy
I watch the boats drift by as they go sailing out from you to me
I’m caught between the parting sea
This is no life for me to lead
And like branding of the cattle we’re just numbers you and me
No room to float away they watch us closely as it seems
And if you ever get the courage just to ask them “let me be”
Just warn me so I can show them some unneeded decency
Hanging on the rafters marks up on the wall
We never need to testify the power protests all
And if you ever need a comfy seat I’d gladly lend my chair but I swear to you it’s not as cozy as it looks from over there
Depart with just a question never show you’re scared, the dreams that are inside of you need to stay up in your head
You wake up and you lick the wounds from which once you had bled
To kill the dreams inside of me’s to kill my only friend
What we ruined it was over just as soon as it began, like the tin foil once crumpled it can never be perfect again
I’ll get by by myself by taking this all as a joke
Words to just bring out a smile make my laugh until I choke
While I’m breaking underwater this I only understand, one of us had to leave ourselves just to be the bigger man
I noticed it was you who reached out and held my hand but when I called out for your help all alone was how I’d stand
Somewhere left outside this place was never meant for me
Though my leaving is a burden, a perfect tragedy
I watch the boats drift by as they go sailing out from you to me
I’m caught between the parting sea
This is no life for me to lead
And like branding of the cattle we’re just numbers you and me
No room to float away they watch us closely as it seems
And if you ever get the courage just to ask them “let me be”
Just warn me so I can show them some unneeded decency
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7. |
It's Happening Again
02:13
|
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Falling back
Calling for for this one to pass
Your ghost walked through the wall
And dissolved in my skin
I’m afraid of the way that I felt back then
I’m afraid I can’t come back again
I’ve gotten back up to my best
Why do I feel the pull the need to risk it all
It’s cuz I’m selfish and I never saw it coming
Its never it’s too late till I’m a foot in the grave
What a fool you’d have to be to make that mistake
If it was even a mistake at all
Sure it calms me down but it won’t fix anything
Poison on the tongue
A black hole of a heart
A notebook full of poems that read
“Till death do us part”
A voice like a blade
In the side of my neck
Cuz I know I should’ve died
Alone in that bed
Just leave me to rest
Superstition
To relations
Between meaningless things
I admit
That I wasn’t
Too thrilled to be between
What you want
And what you need
I know it’s not me
But I’ll try
To cleanse my soul
Of all the dangerous things
That could tare
This apart
Like I do with everything
Superstition
To relations
Between meaningless things
Read too far
Into it
And you’ll wear out the seams
But for now
I’ll believe
I try so hard to believe
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8. |
Inconsistent
05:16
|
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There’s an apathy
That’s sisters with consistency
Dig up the roots of this family tree
And watch it rot away
A child died that day
But you liked it better that way
I heard it all
through the walls
And the whispers that the wind blew through the window
I thought I heard the devil
I try to feel sorry
I tried to understand
That you didn’t really have a plan
Well I never have plans and I’m always one step away from changing everything for better or for worse but I’ll never know because I never follow through
The light that was shining in my chest
finally burned out and I guess I’m safer now but I can’t see in the dark anymore
I can’t see what’s in front of me so I guess I’ll wait for day break
I thought I made my last mistake
Curled up in the corner
The smell of hospital beds made a home in my nose
I thought I’d be different
I knew I’d come out different
A smile with dead eyes
A sloth like slow response time
Give me a reason to get my hopes back up again
I wish you hadn’t called that voicemail shook me to my bones, I was frozen over
But I won’t let this last chance fade away
I will never throw myself away again
I will never throw myself away again
Sit back
Take a load off
You did what you could
Just relax
Just breath
You don’t gotta worry about me no more
I hope someday you can think to yourself
“I’m finally free”
Sink into your problems
Don’t even try to solve them
I caused all these problems
I’m stuck I can solve them
There’s an apathy
That’s sisters with consistency
It still scares me
It all scares me
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